Actually, I’m from Mars. It’s fine if you don’t believe me, but that’s where I’m from. I’m a full-blooded martian. Don’t worry, there’s no plot to take over Earth. We’re just displaced. I can tell you don’t believe me. That’s okay. We’re a big secret; they even tried to hide it from me.
(via Jerry on dating - Imgur)
where I drove over to Safeway at around midnight in my torn pajamas and lime green hoodie, bought some milk and pepto-bismol with nothing else on me except my Safeway card, five bucks, and my car keys. During this entire time I never bothered to take the hoodie off my head and Creedence was playing on the radio.
Also, on a side note? I’m never eating sushi again.
Four day weekend.
